Skip to main content

Feeling Accomplished

4. Feeling Accomplished



I feel really content today, and the day isn't even over. I know last night I was a pack of nerves and pre-prepared for a breakdown at the thought of my SO returning to work after the Christmas holidays, but today I've been on top of the world. On top of my world.
I got up for baba at 5:15 this morning (usually I would leave that to the Mr as he would be getting up for work at 5:30am) took her downstairs, nappy change, bottle, breakfast, dressed and on the floor for some playtime - BAM. Then straight in the kitchen, empty bottles in sink, kettle on for coffee, took my tablets straight away - BOOM. My SO couldn't believe his eyes when he came in the living room. He couldn't stop smiling at me smiling. I was smiling! Haven't  done that much in a while...
I got dressed and cleaned as soon as I could, got her off for her mid-morning nap - no problem. Met up with my mother, we went shopping, had a bit lunch. I even bought myself some clothes. Me! I never shop for myself anymore, it's always for mini cheddar. Or on the odd chance I do go looking for myself, I get too depressed because I'm larger so I feel all frumpy.
Seriously though, I've been so out of character to what I have been the past 6 months or so. I'm going to a happier me; the me I wanted my daughter to see first off, not 9 months later.
My whole body was in a shut down, I went from being fashion fabulous to baggy-tastic. My hair hasn't had any love since July, I'm dying to get some dye on it, I used to get called "Raven-haired beauty" from one of mine and my SO's friends - right now it's more like in Ron Weasley in 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' when the polyjuice potion starts wearing off and his ginger starts to resurface. It wasn't until I bought myself some new clothes today, that I realised how much I have actually been neglecting myself.
Honestly, I don't know what was in my Prosecco on New Year but it's made me realise how bad I have actually been, mentally and physically. I feel so accomplished by doing the morning routine with my daughter, I shouldn't feel accomplished, it should be the norm, but I do feel accomplished. And in a way I'm proud to be accomplished, it shows that I am one baby step closer to getting myself better.
I'm going to attempt a fashion blog entry later tonight with my purchases, as I feel so happy with them.
I just hope I am feeling this way tomorrow, and the next day, and every day. I'll be better in no time and will be able to say that I beat depression, I beat anxiety.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some Pre-bedtime Thoughts

3. Some Pre-bedtime Thoughts I know, I go to bed far too early. I'm slightly anaemic and I have a man-child and a child-child. I'm starting to get that sinking feeling I get when I know tomorrow I'll be on my own with the baby again. I dread it. I don't want to, I want to be better this year. I hate having nerves about not having help  when my back twinges or I get dizzy, sad or sleepy. I want to be able to put these feelings to the back of my mind (or even better, in the bin) so I can focus on baba. I hate being so dependant on my SO, I need to shake this feeling off. I've been feeling great today, I put some washing on, played with mini cheddar, got washed and dressed myself, tidied the living room, took the Christmas decorations down and even chilled out a bit while SO did some housework. We got a lot done. The Christmas/ New Year period throws all my normal duties out of whack - and they were already out of whack because of my depression and anxiety that h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Happy 2018

2. Happy 2018 Happy New Year guys! I'm not really one for the "new year, new me" BS however I am making some changes to the way I usually am throughout the year. I'm in my early 20's, and a lot of my life has had to drastically change in order for me to be a good mum. I was some what a bit of a party animal before falling pregnant, I liked dolling myself up and going to town with the girls and drinking as much tequila slammers and vodka redbulls I could before stumbling (or face planting) in at 5am to sleep it off for a full day. I worked at night too, so I had most of the daytime free, to shop and live in Whetherspoons. It's safe to say, I was a little bit mental (well, lets face it, I still am, because when does a baby ever make you sane). So meeting my SO was one of the best things that ever happened to me. He's tamed me, grounded me, sobered me. Well, he got me pregnant, so that counts as sobering me right? And I was totally prepared for him t...
Post a Comment
Read more